Quick Bread Pudding

6 cups stale quick bread* cut or crumbled into cubes

4 eggs

4 cups milk

2 tbsp vanilla

2 tbsp apple pie spice (optional)

¼ c brown sugar (optional)

1 c raisins(optional)

A) Preheat oven to 350 d F

B) Spread bread evenly over the bottom of a 9 x 13 inch pan

C) Beat eggs in large mixing bowl

D) Beat milk, spice, vanilla and optional ingredients into bowl with eggs

E) Pour egg mixture evenly over bread

F) Bake for 35 minutes

G) Let cool to room temperature before serving

Note: I used a stale loaf of honey bread from the Fannie Farmer cookbook.

Project: Victorian Indoor Cap

Victorian Indoor Cap - Side View
Originally uploaded by Phoebe Swyft.

Victorian indoor cap made with white bridal headband, burgundy and white satin ribbon, burgundy ribbon carnations, faux pearls, rose pink preruffled lace, white preruffled lace, 16 inch doily and white thread. Trim hand stitched to headband.

Made in ~3 hours.

More views of this cap can be seen by clicking directly on the picture.

This cap is designed to be worn by a human. The stuffed animal is being used in place of a human model.

Beef Soup v 1.0

1/4 c carrot

1/4 c onion

1/3 c celery

14 oz can stewed tomatoes

1 Bay leaf

3 tbsp EVOO

~1 lb beef

2 tbsp dried parsley

1 tbsp herbes de provence (thyme, rosemary, basil, marjoram, sage, fennel & lavender)

1/2 tbsp salt

2 tbsp flour

5 c chicken stock

10 c water

- Saute carrot, celery, herbs and onion in EVOO

- Brown beef

- Add flour and salt

- Add chicken stock, tomatoes and water

- Bring contents to a boil

- Cook, covered, at a low boil for 45 minutes

Vintage Anti-pornography Film

This film is further proof that history repeats itself. If this were re-shot today and endorsed by the FBI it would be 100% spot on.

http://www.jonhs.net/freemovies/perversion_for_profit.htm

Not safe for work.

Leek and Potato Soup v 1.0

Leek and Potato Soup

1 medium carrot – scrubbed and thinly sliced
3 large russet potatoes
1 1/2 Tbsp butter
6 c water
1 bunch leeks – scrubbed and thinly sliced
Crushed black pepper to taste
1 ½ c milk

-Slice potatoes in half lengthwise.
-Slice potato halves into crescent slices. Slice as thinly as possible.
-Slice crescents in half.
-Saute leeks and carrots in butter over medium heat. *
-Add pepper.
-Add potatoes to pot.
-Add water.
-Cover pot.
-Let cook for 45 minutes. Stir occasionally.
-Add milk.
-Serve. **

* - Use a stockpot or chef's pan. A wok can be used if the other two are not available.

** - Soup can be served warm, at room temperature, or cold.

"Silicon" Injections and Related Procedures

When you hear about people having "Silicon Parties" they are not using medical grade silicon. Often it is stuff like floor wax or industrial cleaners. This method of body modification is often used by people who can not afford to see a plastic surgeon for their desired augmentations. This practice does happen in the states.

This is a BBC article about the practice in Chile. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4994476.stm

A Guide to Cleaning Sex Toys

A Guide to Cleaning Sex Toys
by Phoebe Swyft

For rubber insertable sex toys: Rinse with hottest possible tap water for 30-60 seconds. Lather with Provon antimicrobial soap. Let sit with lather on for 30 seconds. Rinse thoroughly with hottest possible tap water. Let dry on a clean towel. Store toys in designated area.

For silicon insertable sex toys: Rinse with hottest possible tap water for 30-60 seconds. Lather with Provon antimicrobial soap. Let sit with lather on for 30 seconds. Rinse thoroughly with hottest possible tap water. Bring water to a rolling boil in a stock pot. Place insertable sex toys in boiling water for 3 minutes. Remove toys from pot with tongs. Let dry on a clean towel. Store toys in designated area.

Other sex toys (non-insertable): Remove excess matter. Wash using a cleaner like safe-t-clean or other hospital grade antimicrobial cleaner. Follow directions on package.

Note: If toys are leather, clean with antimicrobial cleaner then clean and condition with leather cleaning products to guard against hardening and cracking.

Template For Conducting Phone Screens Of A Facility

Template For Conducting Phone Screens Of A Facility
Created by Phoebe Swyft

In many queer friendly metropolitan and resort areas there are retirement facilties that are welcoming of queer and transgender residents. This is often the case if they are not part of the new movement of queer oriented facitlities. A few quick phone inquiries to facilities in the area of your interest may yeild more options than expected. The below questions are offered to help initiate dialog with a candidate facility. You are encouraged to add and expand or even omit questions that are not relevant to your situation.

Queer oriented facilities:

Name:
Contact Name:
Number:
Location:

Are you welcoming of all orientations?

Do you welcome transfolk?

Are transfolk allowed to use the bathroom of their gender?

Do you have hospice care and nursing facilities?

Are transfolk in the nursing facilities allowed to maintain their gender identity or are they reassigned to their birth gender?

Would there be special screening considerations for an opposite sex couple seeking to reside at your facility?

Not queer oriented facilities:

Name:
Contact Name:
Number:
Location:

Do you allow couples to share an apartment? Does this also extend to same sex couples?

Do you have handicap bathrooms in the common areas of your facility? Are these unisex?

Do you allow transgender people as residents?

Do you have hospice care and nursing facilities?

Are transgender residents in the nursing facilities allowed to maintain their gender identity or are they reassigned to their birth gender?

Do you allow residents to use the bathroom of their gender or do they have to use the facility that matches their birth sex?

Sampling: Transgender and Gender Queer Welcoming Facilities

Transgender and Gender Queer Welcoming Facilities

RainbowVision Properties, Inc.
4001 Office Court Drive Suite 403
Santa Fe NM 87507
Phone: 505 474-9696
Contact Name: Andrea
Website: http://www.rainbowvisionprop.com/home.html

Notes: They offer 7 different levels of assisted living. They do not have an onsite nursing facility. They do work with a few offsite nursing facilities to ensure that all residents are provided with respectful quality care. Opposite sex couples are welcome.

Santa Fe Care Center
Location:635 Harkle Rd
Santa Fe, NM
Number: (505) 982-2574

Notes: This is not a queer oriented facility. They have several transgender employees. Some of their residents are frequently visited by transgender family members. They welcome transgender residents. At present they do not have any transgender residents. They allow same sex partners to share living quarters. They would not have a problem with allowing residents to use the bathroom of their choosing.

Openhouse
870 Market Street, Suite 724
San Francisco, CA 94102
Phone:  415-296-8995
Website: www.openhouse-sf.org


Notes: Openhouse at present does not manage a facility. At present time they are an advocacy group that is committed to assisting the LGBT community access life affirming and aging support services. In the near future they hope to break ground on an 80-unit facility. The facility would welcome opposite sex couples.

Claremont House
4500 Gilbert Street
Oakland, CA 94611
Phone: 510.658.9266
website: http://www.crmscommunities.com/claremont/

Notes: This is not a queer oriented faciltiy. They do alllow same sex partners to share living quarters. They have unisex bathrooms in the common areas. They do welcome transgender residents. At present they do not have transgender residents. They outsource their hospice care and do not have an onsite nursing facility. Transgender residents would be allowed to maintian their gender identity while at the facility.

Fountain Grove Lodge
4210 Thomas Lake Harris Drive
Santa Rosa, CA 95403
Phone: 707-576-1101
Website: http://www.fountaingrovelodge.com/

Notes: They will break ground in the second half of 2006. They welcome all genders and orientations with a focus on providing a queer possitive community. They will not have an onsite nursing faciltiy. They will work with residents to place them with safe, respectful and qualified nursing facilities to ensure the comfort of residents. They are committed to allowing their residents to age in place with dignity and the freedom to be who they are. They welcome opposite sex couples.

Lake Park Retirement Residence
1850 Alice Street
Oakland, CA 94612
Phone : (510) 835-5511
Website: http://www.cnmh.org/lake_park.html

Notes: They are not a queer oriented facility. They allow same sex partners to share living quarters. They have unisex bathrooms in their common areas. They have onsite assisted living, nursing care and hospice care. Residents maintain their gender identity as they age in place. They welcome transgender residents. At present they do not have transgeder residents.

The Resort on Carefree Boulevard
3000 Carefree Boulevard, Lot E-23
Ft. Myers, FL 33917
Phone: (239) 731-6366
website: http://www.resortoncb.com/

Note: Has a women only clubhouse. Welcoming of all genders and orientations with a focus on creatinga safe retirement community for all women. They are only a retirement community with no assisted libing, nursing or hospice care.

Sex parts

This is a great website that clearly explains, including animations, how human sex organs typically form.

http://www.sickkids.ca/childphysiology/cpwp/Genital/genitaldevelopment.htm

From a heterosexual sexual activity standpoint this is a great tool for understanding how your genitals correspond with your partner's. This can be very useful information when participating in mutual masturbation.

Chicken Broth v1.0

2 chicken wings + 1 chicken leg ( or 3 chicken wings)
1 medium carrot (chopped)
1 stalk celery (chopped)
1/8 onion (chopped)
1 clove garlic (crushed)
3 tbsp EVOO
Salt
Black pepper

3 1/2 qt water

a) Rinse chicken pieces in cold running water
b) Cut chicken wings into pieces at the joints
c) In large stock pot or pan gently heat EVOO
d) Add vegetables to EVOO and sauté until onions start to become translucent
e) Salt and pepper to taste
f) Add chicken pieces to the pan and sauté until skin starts to turn a light carmel brown
g) Add 3 1/2 qt water to pan
h) simmer for at least 90 minutes
i) Strain through a strainer (optional)

Note 1: Add more water as the broth starts to evaporate out of the pan.

Note 2: For a lower fat version. Let broth cool completely. Skim the solidified fat off the top.

Rice Porridge v 1.0

Serves 1-2

1 cup cooked brown rice *
1/2 C non fat milk
1/4 cup raisins
1 tsp maple syrup
2 dashes allspice

a) place all ingredients in a small sauce pan
b) stir to mix
c) turn on heat to medium high
d) heat to boiling. Stirring frequently.
e) reduce heat to simmer.
f) cook until the mix almost reaches desired consistency. Stir frequently.
g) turn off heat.
h) serve.

* you can use any kind of rice. I use brown rice for this recipe since I usually keep a container of cooked brown rice in my refrigerator.

Egg Salad v1.0

Serves 1

2 eggs as close to room temperature as possible

1/2 Bubbies dill pickle, chopped
dash salt
black pepper to taste (optional)
2-3 tbsp mayonnaise
2 tsp mustard

3 Wasacrisp crackers

a) bring water to boil
b) gently place eggs in boiling water
c) boil for 10 minutes
d) Immediately remove pot from heat and run cold water over the eggs while they are still in the pot. Do this for ~2 minutes
e) fill pot with cold water.
f) add ice cubes to the pot
g) let eggs sit for at least 10 minutes
h) remove eggs from pot
i) tap eggs on a hard surface to start cracks in the shells
j) over the sink or a bowl, roll the egg in between your hands until the shell starts to come off on it’s own. Do not apply a lot of pressure.
k) run cold water in sink.
l) roll egg in between hands under the cold water. The shell should come off.
m) remove remaining shell from egg
n) repeat with second egg
o) slice eggs in half
p) remove yolks
q) throw out 1 1/2 yolks (optional)
r) chop whites and yolks
s) in a soup bowl combine egg with pickle, salt, pepper, mayo and mustard
t) stir until mayo and mustard coat the egg
u) serve with Wasacrisp crackers

Brown Stew v 1.0

1 3/4 lbs stew beef
a few dashes pepper
1 medium onion, chopped
1 medium carrot, sliced
2 stalks celery, chopped
1 crushed bay leaf
1 tbsp salt or salt substitute
2 large russet potatoes
5 tbsp canola oil
8 tbsp white flour
10 C water
1 cube beef bouillon

a) In stock pot heat 2 tbsp canola oil. Brown beef in stock pot. Season with black pepper as desired.

b) Reduce heat to medium. Sprinkle 4 tbsp flour over beef. Stir to coat.

c) Remove beef from stock pot.

d) Add 3 tbsp canola oil to stock pot. Sauté onion, carrot, celery and bay leaf. Add salt.

e) When onions are turning transparent, add 4 tbsp flour over vegetables. Stir to coat.

f) Add beef back to pot. Stir to mix.

g) Turn heat to high.

h) Add water and potatoes.

i) Bring to rolling boil. Stir frequently.

j) Reduce heat to low. Cover. Let boil for 30 minutes. Stir regularly to mix roux that has stuck to the bottom during the sauté process into the rest of the stew.

k) Uncover. Raise heat to medium. Add bouillon. Let boil for 30 minutes. Stir regularly.

l) Turn off heat. Let sit for 1 hour before serving.

Civilian SOS v 1.0

SOS v 1.0
Originally uploaded by Phoebe Swyft.

Serves 1

6 oz ground beef
1 C nonfat milk
1 Tbsp flour
Dash salt
A few dashes black pepper
2 pieces wheat toast

a) Crumble ground beef into a pan over medium heat. Sauté until browned.
b)Add flour
c) Stir until flour coats beef
d) Add milk, salt and pepper
e) Stir over medium heat till thick and bubbly
f) Turn off heat
g) Cut each piece of toast into quarters
h) Pour beef over toast

Sex skills

The most valuable skill a sex partner can have is communication.

Chocolate Popovers v1.0

Chocolate Popovers
Originally uploaded by Phoebe Swyft.

Makes 12

3/4 C egg substitute
1 1/2 C nonfat milk
1/2 tsp salt
1 C all purpose flour
1/4 C unsweetened cocoa powder (I used Droste)
1/4 C sugar

A) Heat oven to 400 F
B) Grease muffin tins (not needed if you are using silicone pans)
C) Add all ingredients in order listed
D) Whisk together until batter is as smooth as it is going to get
E) Fill pans 1/3 to 1/2 full
F) Bake in the center of oven for 25 minutes
G)Immediately slash the tops or exposed sides of the popovers 2 or 3 times with a sharp knife after removing from oven.
H) Leave popovers in pans and allow to cool on wire rack

Baked Chocolate Cherry Pudding v1.0

Baked Chocolate Cherry Pudding
Originally uploaded by Phoebe Swyft.

Wet layer:
1 1/4 C water
1/4 C butter
1 C brown sugar
1 1/2 C fresh cherries (frozen if fresh not available)
1/2 C unsweetened cocoa powder

Dough layer:
1 oz unsweetened baking chocolate
1/2 C water
2 1/2 C flour
1 1/2 C sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 C sour cream
1/2 C butter, softened or melted
1 tsp vanilla
3 eggs

Preheat oven to 350

Wet layer:
- In sauce pan, combine water and butter. Heat till butter is melted.
- Reduce heat to low.
-Add brown sugar and cocoa to water mixture. Beat until smooth.
-Spread cherries on bottom of 9 W x 9 L x 2 H pan. Pour sugar mixture over cherries.
-Set pan aside.

Dough layer:
-Melt baking chocolate in double boiler.
-In large bowl add flour, sugar, soda and salt.
-Add sour cream, butter,water, vanilla and eggs.
-Add melted chocolate to mixture.
-Beat until smooth
-Spoon batter over cherry mixture.

-Bake 40-50 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of a dough mass comes out clean.
-Let cool to room temperature.
-Serve.

Notes:
-Place foil or a cookie sheet under the baking pan to avoid overflow spilling in oven.
-Pudding can be stored in it's baking dish unrefridgerated for a few days in a cake keeper or by placing foil over the top.

Grits/cornmeal mush

1 double serving of cornmeal mush.

1 1/2 C water
1/2 C grits or cornmeal

a) bring water to boil

b) stir in grits/cornmeal

c) season or add additional ingredients as desired.

d) cover and cook on low for 6 minutes. Stir frequently.

Serving suggestion: If making plain grits/cornmeal mush, try adding a little butter after the mush has been put in serving bowl. It adds some flavor and keeps the mush from drying out as quickly.

Banana Orange Bran Muffins v1.0

3 C all bran cereal or oatmeal
2 C nonfat milk

2 C all purpose flour
1/2 C brown sugar
2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp nutmeg
4 Tbsp protein powder* (optional)

1 C egg substitute
2 mashed bananas, should resemble puree
1 banana crushed into chunks
zest of one small orange
juice of one small orange, some pulp is ok

A) Preheat oven to 350 F

B) Grease muffin pans

C) Combine bran cereal and milk. Set aside.

D) Mix flour, brown sugar, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg and protein powder

E) Mix eggs, banana, orange juice and orange zest

F) Add wet mixture to milk and bran mixture

G) Combine wet and dry mixtures

H) Pour batter into muffin pans

I) Bake for 16-18 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center of a muffin comes out clean.

J) Let muffins cool in muffin pans.

* I used egg and milk based protein powder

Serving suggestion: Serve with lots of milk or your favorite hot or cold beverage.

Notes-

These muffins can be frozen.

These muffins can be made vegan by substituting tofu, tofu yogurt, soy/almond milk and soy based protein powder where appropriate. There are plenty of resources for ways to integrate these substitutes into recipes on the web.